Saints, Relics and Mitt Romney's Magical Underwear

Beatification of Political Figures

     The hagiographies of Catholic saints provide an insightful and useful blueprint to dissecting the populistic veneration of political figures when their historiographies get the revisionist treatment. However, potential Catholic saints are scrutinized on the merits of their wonders before their canonization as a bona fide Saint. If the Pontiff is swayed by the empirically fuzzy proof then the dead person enters an undefined period of beatification. The beatification marks a cooling off period whereby more “proofs” of exceptional earthly divinity are gathered and filed away. Once enough evidence has been amassed the reigning Pope can cast off the beatification and officially canonize the Saint “in waiting”. A frighteningly similar methodology is employed by populist movements when they embark on canonizing a political figure of some historical distinction. Every school child in America has been taught ad nauseum about the wonders of George Washington's unflappable boyhood ethics. The tale of him morally squelched and unable to lie about taking an axe to his father's cherry tree. That fanciful parable of innate American ethics embodied in a cultural hero is tantamount to the unverifiable deeds attributed to Catholic “pre-saints” during their beatification. Catholic saints are believed to fly about, to have stigmata's, heal the infirm and occasionally imbue their clothing with mystical holy powers. Their place of birth and/or death are transformed by the believers into shrines of devotion. These shrines are the locale where yearly pilgrimages terminate and relics are bought and placed to insure the sanctity of the pilgrim and the shrine. Take for instance the historical ramifications of the wooden dentures which George Washington wore for the first time on the battle field at his victory at Valley Forge. Or perhaps more mundane the jute suit which Ronald Reagan wore on the night he lost his virginity. These are intrinsically no different from the Catholic prerequisites to canonization. I will attempt to analogize between a famous political “pre-saint” and her road to beatification and the sub rosa attempts to start a beatification process for current American politicians. In order to make the comparison we first must define what is a relic entails.

     The word relic found it's widespread usage in the English language during the early 13^th century. The shift in meaning in the 13^th century lent itself to referring to a particular body part or other artifact associated with a holy person. Initially the Latin word reliquiæ was used to refer to mementos of pious men and women. The root word is linquere meaning to leave or depart which was coupled with “re-” as a form of “back” giving us reliquiae; something endowed to us from a saint.

     Of course, relics come in various degrees of piety and super powers. Generally speaking there are three categories of relics in ascending order provide insight into the inherent powers they embody. The hierarchy of piety corresponds neatly with the particular cultural, social or political impasse which the relics are employed to help overcome. Bottom of the totem pole (excuse the pun) are classified as “third degree” relics which are items or objects which in some fashion were touched by the saint. Second degree relics are held in higher esteem because they were those used and or worn by the saint. Apparently the second degree relics have had more time to absorb the saints divine vibrations. The holiest of holies in the realm of relics are also the rarest of relics. First degree relics are the incarnation of the faith which function as touchstones of that faith among believers. Examples of first degree relics are slivers of the true cross, anything from Jesus or any generic body part from saints. During the early middle ages through the late middle ages in Europe a whole subversive thieving industry arose (furta sacra), to supply the enormous demand for holy relics. The fact that Jesus' foreskin, The Holy Prepuse, was claimed by as many as 18 different churches throughout Europe during the middle ages, doesn't negate the fact that this was a magnificently holy relic rivaled by no other. Naturally, if the first written documentation of The Holy Prepuse is of Charlemagne bestowing it upon Pope Leo III, then the currency of it's innate super power increases exponentially. Although Charlemagne exemplifies a person having the acumen of realizing the political value of a relic, he was never canonized. A saint who also understood the political importance of relics and miracles was Saint Catherine of Siena.

     Curiously and perhaps ironically extreme piety was one of the few avenues in which women could garner as much acclaim as men in the political arena of church affairs. Women were barred from holding posts in the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church but little held them back from veneration as conduits of divine propriety. Catherine of Siena might be diagnosed today as labile and paranoid schizophrenic but in 14^th century Italy she was viewed as being divinely blessed with visions. We'll ignore the fact that she perpetually hallucinated because of her staple diet of Holy Hosts and consecrated wine; taking communion every single day. Catherine of Siena made the holiest of vows only to be broken later in adulthood for an even holier vow. At the age of 7 she purportedly took the vow of chastity and abstinence as a result of her first ecstatic vision she had of Christ. When she had reached adulthood she upped the ante on her piety and announced that she had entered into a holy union with Jesus; she wed the Son of God. Bold and brash as it may seem that singular act erected a bulwark against criticism from the male dominated Church authorities. Catherine was on her way to adopting a trifecta of ecclesiastical notoriety when the rumors of her stigmata accelerated to a fever pitch. Those three attributes (marriage to Christ, divinely inspired hallucinations and stigmata) would catapult her into the frays of perhaps the biggest power struggle to date within the Roman Catholic Church. The Western schism, which divided the papacy from 1378 through 1417, had two simultaneous Popes: one in Italy and one in France. The division was more about political discordance than any profound theological dispute. Catherine wrote extensively to both Popes, notably Pope Gregory XI. He was so enamored with her eloquent piety that he followed her heavenly instructions and returned his administration to Rome for the remainder of his Papacy. During the rest of her lifetime Catherine lived in Rome where she, under the protection of Pope Urban VI, lamented about her failed struggle to end the Schism. She died in Rome at the age of 33; a number which has immense religious currency within the Christian faith. My assertion is that the Church needed her and the people needed her which led to the unconscious manufacture of an exemplar of extraordinary divinity. It is irrelevant to apply any scientific litmus test in order to discern whether or not Catherine of Siena was indeed telling the truth. Whether she was neurologically, psychologically, or physiologically “normal” can't negate the perception of her contemporaries and their necessity to believe.

     Catherine was eventually buried in Rome. A list of miracles and wonders claiming to have happened there is testament to both her popularity among the lay members of the Catholic Church and the savvy clergy who recognized the political potential of her relics. Steadily her popularity transcended a mere holy man and the Pope was forced to move her body and it's relics inside the Basilica of Santa Maria sopra Minerva where most of her body resides today. However, her body; her relic was a hotly fought over commodity. It appears that the city of Siena also wanted a piece of the relic action. A macabre story of furta sacra ensues. A band of thieves at the behest of the city of Siena crept into the Basilica and exhumed Catherine's body. The shrewd thieves quickly realized that transporting the entire body would be a herculean task; the journey remaining undetected would be to risky. They need to travel less encumbered. The macabre conclusion arrived at by the thieves was to ignominiously lop off her head and return the first degree relic to Siena. As soon as Catherine's skull was placed in a sack the thieves set out on their trek back to Siena. Of course a hero' tale isn't complete without a challenge. A challenge which is really a test of the hero's moral constitution when his confronted with impending failure. Furta Sacra heroic stories are rife with seemingly contradictory feats of moral and ethical fortitude. As the hagiography informs us the thieves were stopped by guards as they were leaving Rome. The guards demanded to see the contents of the sack whereupon the thieves began to pray to Catherine for a miracle. When the thieves opened the sack and revealed the contents to the guards Catherine of Siena had performed the miracle of disappearance. The guards examined the sack but saw nothing; Catherine's skull relic had vanished. It wasn't until the thieves arrived in Siena that Catherine's head reappeared in the sack. It's clear that the need to have control not only of the physical relic but also to to be able to dictate the hagiography of the saint is what gave the relic meaning and it's cultural brevity.

     The same can be said about the burgeoning historiographies of political figures. The locales of the outhouses Abe Lincoln purportedly visited or used is of much less importance than the bullet which killed him or the stovepipe hat her wore. It's the perception and not the quantifiable evidence which starts the political figure's populistic beatification. Can we observe the fledgling beatifications of political figures operating in the current public arena? That is a question with a very slippery slope. However, let's take a stab at the 2012 Presidential election candidates and their potential relics. Eventually Obama's long-form birth certificate will be auctioned off and probably fall into the hands of the Trump dynasty. Or maybe the White House establishes a lucrative cottage industry which sells certified copies of Obama's long form birth certificate. “What about Romney?”; you might ask. When Romney departs this world for the distant Mormon planet of Kolob he will bequeath his “magical underwear” to this mortal planet. We can all imagine the pandemonium it would unleash as different factions claim sacred rights to his undergarments. Who will prevail? Michigan, Utah or Massachusetts? Undoubtedly the Church of Later Day Saints in collaboration with the future Mitt Romney Institute will fabricate enough replica undies to supply the burgeoning demand.

Around the World in 9 Mental Illnesses

Travel Log

Ultimately we all enjoy a change of pace once and a while. Some of us suffer from dromomania which makes us compulsively need to travel even under tremendous physical and mental duress. Others are afflicted by a romantically motivated wanderlust which compels us to experience new surroundings and vistas. While still others passively contemplate the “grass is always greener” principle from the safety of their living room. Whatever category you most associate yourself with the reality is that we all share a fascination about geographical places which are dissimilar and or in contrast to our own. However, if this delightful mental exercise is left unchecked and unabated it might spawn a whole host of mental illnesses. Afford yourself some time to do some background investigation before embarking on vacation or tucking into a cheeky bit of travel literature or nestling down in the sofa to watch a travel documentary. Your mental health depends on it. The list compiled here has 6 clinically legitimate syndromes all bearing the name of a geographical location. The temptation was too insurmountable not to concoct a few fictitious ones in the process.

Stockholm syndrome: is the psychological phenomenon whereby a hostage develops sympathy and perhaps empathy for those who are the captors. Occasionally the hostage will become virulent in defense of those who are holding him captive. Of course this syndrome has been unnamed for millenia; only in the last century has it emerged as a catch-all category for capture-bonding. Various forms of capture-bonding include, fraternal hazing, military basic training and battered-wife syndrome (verbal/physical). It might be a psychological underpinning of sexual bondage role playing.

Jerusalem syndrome: is a form of temporary psychosis which befalls religious visitors to Jerusalem. Prior to visiting these people were assumed to be psychologically stable. Although the name denotes a holy city of 3 major monotheistic religions (Islam, Judaism, Christianity) it can also be applied to various religions whereby a pilgrimage has taken place. The syndrome is noted by those who are afflicted with it as having delusions, hysteria and or psychotic episodes steeped in religious motifs. Once the person who has being affected by the syndrome is removed from the stimuli he/she is expected to make a speedy and full recovery.

Florence syndrome: dizziness, tachycardia, hallucinations, fainting, disassociation. It is a syndrome also know under a variety of names; Stendhal syndrome, Stendhal's syndrome, or hyperkulturemia. Although currently regarded as a psychosomatic illness it is depicted as a debilitating sensory overload of someone who has been exposed to overwhelming beauty; most notably visual art. The Florentine art museum, from which one of the nomenclatures is derived, provides the prerequisites for the illness: many culturally defined beautiful works of art in a single common locale.

Paris syndrome: delusions, hallucinations, dizziness, tachycardia, fugue, depression, anxiety, feeling of persecution and many more symptoms associated with psychosomatic attributes of the illness. The syndrome is generally associated with Japanese tourists visiting the French capital city. Due to the fact that the Japanese suffers are on vacation the mental illness is seen to be transient in nature. Although the basis of the syndrome is psychotic the psychosomatic impetus is much clearer. The language obstacle between French and Japanese in conjunction with the discrepancies in societal norms would indicate that those afflicted with Paris syndrome are experiencing a classic form of culture shock.

Lima syndrome: is considered to be the antithesis of Stockholm syndrome. Lima syndrome is, thusly, a situation whereby the captors garner sympathy for the people they are holding hostage. It received its name from Lima Peru where the Japanese Embassy was stormed and held captive by a militant organization for a couple of hours before releasing the hostages.

Arctic Hysteria: wild screaming, histrionics, depression, coprophagia and echolalia.

The syndrome is also known as piblokto or pibloktoq in the Arctic circle which is the primary locale of the illness. The mental illness occurs almost exclusively within the Inughuit communities of the arctic circle and is most prevalent with Inughuit women. By the fact that the disease is culturally isolated it necessarily lends itself to identifying an external variable for the cause of the syndrome. A hypothesized culprit might be Vitamin A toxicity. The syndrome has been documented most often in the winter when the Inughuit peoples are consuming large amounts of animal entrails and offal which contain high levels of Vitamin A. The syndrome has not fully been investigated scientifically which lead some scientists to conclude that the syndrome is a catch-all for a variety of illnesses.

Amsterdam syndrome: hysteria, apraxia, hallucinations and characterized by a fugue state. Usually occurring within groups of Northern European stag and or hen parties visiting Amsterdam for a weekend. The illness has also been diagnosed in Southern Europeans but it much rarer. It can be triggered by but is not limited to massive doses of cannabis and alcohol while in the presence of perceived culturally repugnant sexual acts. Fortunately the symptoms are reversible and tend to dissipate after 48 hours of disassociation with the stimuli.

New York syndrome: echolalia, dizziness, fatigue and tachycardia. A mental illness which is almost exclusive to American tourists visiting NYC from the plains states. Although it has been diagnosed in visitors from Illinois, Arkansas and Utah, the primary states from which the sufferers originate are Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota and South Dakota. The highest percentage, nearly 48%, of those visitors who succumb to New York syndrome are from Nebraska. The illness is brought on by a sudden acute agoraphobia due to the dense population of the city coupled with the unfamiliar nature of a vertical city instead of the horizontal cities to which they are accustomed. The illness is often exacerbated by an innate fear of being mugged and robbed by force.

Tokyo Syndrome: fatigue, mild epileptic seizures, dizziness, and hallucinations. The syndrome is used to describe Western tourists visiting one of Japan's large metropolitan cities; Tokyo, Yokohama, Osaka, Nagoya or Sapporo. The western visitor is initially overwhelmed by the ubiquity of neon lighted advertizing signs which encompass the urban landscape. This is coupled with a feeling of anxiety of being heterogenous in a densely populated homogenous society. This anxiety can precipitate epileptic seizures. Despite being a rare phenomenon, these epileptic seizures have been documented to induce severe hallucinations. 

Dark Chocolate Flavored Brussel Sprouts

 

Trends and Tradition in American Ingenuity

     Bacon flavored broccoli isn't a madman's fantasy anymore. It's America's ticket to reasserting herself as one of the world's top scientific super powers. In order to climb back into the saddle Americans needs to tap back into what has united them over the centuries in a singular purpose. A sense of collective ideology has enabled Americans to undertake and accomplish things so that are both exceptional and revolutionary. Yet America's ingenuity is a double edged sword. It's both a blessing and a curse. A question lingers as to how America's shared ideological ethos has evolved. From it's inception as an Eden and refuge for peoples who found themselves marginalized and unwelcome elsewhere, America has come harness and tame those differences within a climate of “hyphen” American culture. When asked what it means to be American or what overarching ideology binds Americans together, a laundry list of demographically subjective opinions spring up. Alex Tocqueville figured it out more than a century and a half ago. Tocqueville was a French political philosopher and a de facto historian who travel throughout America during the 1830's. He was from an aristocratic French family and a dyed in the wool European Romanticist. He set the tone for future exploration in social sciences with his seminal work known as “Democracy in America”. Essentially Tocqueville asserts that a collective subconscious pioneering spirit is at the core of what unites Americans ideologically. He draws attention to the concept of “The Frontier”. Americans at the time Tocqueville visited had been on a steady march towards the west for roughly 6 decades. These pioneering folks shared a kindred spirit, he deduced. A deep-rooted ingenuity to conquer new and unfamiliar territory is what defined the American esprit de corps. The ability and independent fervor to try unconventional ideas and trends in order to pacify unfamiliar territories lends itself to a loosely knit ideological cohesion. However, if the ideological trends stay fluid they are subject to eminent change which is ever looming on the horizon. It stands to reason then that if these trends are in perpetual state of change then an inevitable loss of a uniting tradition will be the outcome. This tendency towards experimentation can bring about alienation. For instance, when a shared problem arises there can be no meeting of the minds. Individuality and personal ingenuity take over in lieu of collective societal traditions. However, melding trends into traditions and forcing them to be elastic in their pragmatism is a highly beneficial thing. Abandoning a staunchly rigid approach of choosing either trend or tradition needs to be promoted. Altering trends to fit into tradition might pull America out of its moral funk.

     Modified trends could be as lucrative as they are nutritionally beneficial. One multifaceted trend modification could be genetically manipulating veggies to taste like savory snacks or deep fried foods and would certainly be a sure fire hit. Or why not create a sweet tasting veggie like Brussel sprouts harvested in either dark or milk chocolate flavors? We have manipulated every other type of fruit and veggie. Even taking a relatively conservative slant we have can say that we have tweaked evolution enough to create super cows. Maybe it's time to take a page out of the vegan/vegetarian manifesto which produces and consumes a whole butcher's shop full of soy and fungal meat substitutes which taste nearly identical to genuine meats. Like salty tofu-bacon or faux turkey for those thanksgiving day feasts. Lo sodium, low carbs gluten free and the list goes on and on. The toxic love affair, I can't reiterate enough, of the Western world with traditional agriculture is robbing our collective ingenuity. Why can't the governing bodies of countries overproducing pork and beef and dairy products as well as maize and wheat and other grains turn the tables on farming subsidies? It's a “no-brainer” list of benefits. Not only would scientific research be stimulated but the excitement of discovery and the prospects of cold hard cash would come trickling down to the high school level straight through to universities which could receive grants for the burgeoning SMET education. That scientific ethos would carry over into the private sector where companies could capitalize on the modified trend. Most notably the pharmaceutical industries which are assuredly going to benefit financially. The short term investment of racking up patent after patent would be a boon for all industries who choose to get involved in this pioneering research. Environmentally it's a sound ethical and moral step forward. The arable land now devoted to raising ruminant livestock such as sheep, goats and buffalo but more importantly cows, can make a desperately needed transition away from those monstrously large tracks of grazing land they now occupy. Those beguiling bovines consume vast amounts of grasses which we affectionately refer to as roughage. Anyone who has ever embarked on a fad diet can attest to what havoc roughage inflicts on your constitution. The realm of yucks and chuckles know all to well. The comedic world has proven that nothing is easier at getting a hostile crowd into the laugh groove like a good potty joke. Poop or pee references will nudge an otherwise uninterested audience into a moment of deep comedy focus. But what really mesmerizes the audience like dangling yarn in front of a kitten are fart jokes.

     Flatulence is a universal and wonderful experience shared by all mammals. Farts are tiny peepholes into a private world which surreptitiously unite us by laying bare the profane and ferreting out hidden familial bonds. We are served up a raw dish of what the Germans call “Schadenfreude” and the Dutch refer to as “Leedvermaak”. Both words are characterized by a mischievous delight one gets by proxy from the suffering of another. When someone farts we may become squeamish because we are inherently more sensitive to the odors which are not ours. Or perhaps we overlook the olfactory elements and are merely revolted by the breach of social decorum. If, however, we peel back a layer or two of the onion, we find what is really being played out is that we have become acutely aware that flatulence is a common experience to us all. The psychological processing of someone else's faux pas illuminates the underlying social and biological solidarity between us all. Farts have gotten a bad rap in modern times as a bona fide scientific endeavor. Fortunately, history can bestow upon us a modicum of intrinsic commonality while polishing off that taboo by imbuing it with an tinge of intellectual respectability. The father of erudite philosophical church doctrine, Saint Augustine, pontificated about the mystical abilities of musical farting. In Saint Augustine's 5^th century book, “The City of God”, he exalts a otherwise mundane and ordinary act to that of a divine gift from a benevolent God. He writes; “(humans)...have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing". By now you're wondering what connection a digestive diatribe has to do with the romantic ideal of traditional farming. Remember the cow? Cows fart often and with those farts, as well as with humans, they omit methane gas. Methane is one of the dastardly greenhouse gasses. The best horror stories don't come from the fantastic creations oozing out the minds of writers. No, they are the factual stories which are tucked away on page 4 of the morning paper or gleaned from verbose and dull governmental studies. Luckily, the United States Environmental Protection Agency doesn't balk at the chance to simultaneously educate and bore. One such study by the EPA paints a lugubrious picture of the impact of flatulent cattle; “Globally, ruminant livestock produce about 80 million metric tons of methane annually, accounting for about 28% of global methane emissions from human-related activities. An adult cow may be a very small source by itself, emitting only 80-110 kgs of methane, but with about 100 million cattle in the U.S. and 1.2 billion large ruminants in the world, ruminants are one of the largest methane sources. In the U.S., cattle emit about 5.5 million metric tons of methane per year into the atmosphere, accounting for 20% of U.S. methane emissions.” Just imagine if we could reduce the amount of cow farts by one half what a inadvertent global health benefit it would be.

     Encouraging scientific research through bestowing government grants to universities and tax incentives to agribusiness, in order to develop, produce and harvest savory crops of pork chop flavored beets and caramel flavored okra, might just be the first notes in the swan song of global warming and rampant malnutrition.

The Evolution of Language: Chatty Cathy 2,000,000 years B.C.

Homo Erectus a.k.a Homo Garrulus

     The dawn of man is perhaps the most bankrupt and simplified clichés used to envisage where the tipping point was in the evolution of modern man. Paleoanthropologists have been locked in debate over how the base and the trunk of the homo sapien tree should look. That seems to me to be the academic equivalent to a judicial kangaroo court. In situ remains and artifacts belie the hard empirical evidence and point to crazy, spurious and evidentiary anomalies which bemuddle the need for a relative framework, as baseline, from which we can extrapolate an overall trend. Of course, classifying and cataloguing the minutiae by detailing each branch and twig of the hominids is a necessary aspect of the study of the evolution of modern man; too often it emerges as pettifogging or scientific megalomania. The branch of the hominid tree which is truly magical is the emergence of Homo Erectus. 

 

     Homo Erectus gives rise to the philosophical and physiological concepts of what is means to be divergent from animals. The evidence displays a skilled and calculated manipulation of the their environment through the use of fire and tool technologies; primarily Oldowan and Acheulean technologies. A less tangible but titillating development is that of cognition and a sense of abstraction through communication which are intrinsic building blocks for language. The appearance of Homo Erectus brought with it the physiological evolutionary features like a brain size in proportion to body mass and a pronounced Broca's area. Both of these qualities are intractably necessary for language. The language of the Homo Erectus may have made use of simplistic vocalizations but was more plausibly transmitted through the use of gestures. This proto-language quite possibly was the flywheel for religion and art and symbolic representation. The academic jury is still deliberating on this point and the fact is that it may never be conclusively answered. Nonetheless, it appears reasonable that the manipulation of ideas which are done by an ordering process of giving a name (labeling) to specific things would lead to a process of categorizing these things. This learned method of categorizing in turn promotes the labeling of concepts in an abstract form. Pointing is as rudimentary as it gets when it comes to communication in a gesture driving proto-language. The need for complex syntax and semantics is a priori redundant. The act of pointing makes apparent that the “thing” of discernment is the object of the contextual information. When pointing to the object no abstraction is taking place; it is purely mundane and concrete.

     Imagine a hunting party (by the time of Homo Erectus the classic assemblage of a hunter-gatherer society is starting to emerge), skulking about on the Savannah stalking animals all day, they then point to a herd of buffalo. Those in the hunting party know exactly what is being pointed to and subsequently know that the buffalo's could soon be dinner. No extra gesturing is needed. The contextual information is self contained. Suppose again that the hunters have for the last week been entirely unlucky in providing protein to the clan for any number of reasons. For instance, a particularly arid summer has forced animals to stay congregated around sparsely located watering holes which are further away than the traditional nomadic range of the clan. Or perhaps a large pride of lions has converged on the same hunting territory of the clan making competition futile. Whatever the reason may be, some senior male member of the clan would certainly advise a different tactic; choosing a path of least resistance to acquiring a fresh kill. Remembering that the buffalo's were especially easy the previous time they set out on a hunt, this senior male member gestures to the other males that they should hunt buffalo again. How does he communicate this idea through abstraction? Let's surmise that the clan have a gesture whereby two hands are made flat with the thumbs sticking out and the thumbs are touching the temples on either side of the head. This rudimentary gesture symbolizes buffalo as a category; as an abstraction; as language. If we can take a another leap of scientific faith then we could also argue that the gestural lexicon might include many more types of abstractions.

     Indeed, the case can securely be made that gestures are the linchpin in the origin of language. Oliver Sacks points out in his book “Seeing Voices” that “...isolated deaf adults...will invent gestural systems, with a very simple syntax and morphology, by which they can communicate basic needs and feelings to their neighbors...”. As we touched on earlier the cranial capacity of Homo Erectus was certainly robust enough for proto-language and possessed a defined Broca's area which is the epicenter for language orchestration in the brain. However, Sacks asserts, rightly, that without a group to share these gestures with and have that sharing extended over at least two generation the gestures wouldn't evolve into a rich and full language. Although Sacks is spot on with his assessment of a full and rich grammatically savvy language with vibrant syntax, it does overstate the fact that not all languages need necessarily be as robust to be effective in conveying concepts and contextual abstractions. A pidgin is a contraction of languages and symbols which is germinated out of a need to communicate basal ideas and concepts and by that very nature might never achieve a robust structure as Sacks espouses. Regardless, these fundamental gestures as conveyers of abstraction gave rise to verbal language much like the manufacture and use of tools in emerging technologies aided the development and manipulation of their environment.

     If we fast forward to present day where robust languages are the norm we discover that gestures persist. Not only have they remained but they are distinct and unique to common cultures despite the apparent difference in language. Why have gestures persisted? What is the significance of the gesture? What do these gestures say about the need to gesticulate them and not verbalize them? These, I feel are intriguing questions but beyond the scope of this introduction to the evolution of gestures. Stay tuned.

Who Let the Cat out of the Bag?

Pig in a Poke

 

     Idioms, sayings, turn of phrase or maxim no matter what you call it these are clearly the rare spices which season a language and make the otherwise dry syntax go down smooth as honey. Some idioms are difficult to pin down to a specific historical and cultural time frame. We rely on the first instance when the idiom was found in print in order to date its inception into the common lexicon. 


     Of course this isn't the first usage but it is the first documented in a primary source. The Brothers Grimm didn't suddenly happen upon German Faerie tales in the 19^th century. Those tales had been told for eons and the Brothers Grimm had the foresight to preserve them for generations to come. The specific idiom, “pig in a poke” is one which is extremely difficult to fit into a specific time of origin. We know that is was a common phrase in Medieval Europe. The idiom is derived from, by modern standards of grifting, a rather primitive medieval con. Meat was scarce and expensive commodity in the middle ages so the chance of snagging a cheap savory piglet at the market was pounced on immediately. The con artist never missed his mark and realized that the weight and feel of a presumably shaved cat or puppy would go unnoticed by a famished rube. Despite being a last resort meal (dog and cat meat by no means the meat of choice), “pet food” was sometimes begrudgingly eaten. The Dutch have a colorful and historically interesting phrase which probably casts light on the state of urban malnutrition during the middle ages. The Dutch euphemistically refer to cats as “Dakhaas” or “roof hare” in English. Back to the trickery. The “con” was orchestrated by a “grifter” out of a “Monty Store” probably in cahoots with a “shill” who boisterously lured the “marks” out of the crowd to step closer and have a look at the wares. The conman sold the “pet” to the gullible rube who thought he was buying a juicy piglet but in actuality got stuck with a cat or perhaps a hare instead. Undoubtedly, the con couldn't be sustained all day so some kind of exit strategy was employed to either disperse the crowd or make a speedy retreat when the money was sufficient enough to split; called a “blow off” in the con and hustle pidgin of thieves. The idiom gives rise to another idiom “letting the cat out of the bag” in English. Letting the cat out of the bag alludes to the “Tell” which is the act of exposing the con by showing its dubious contents. 


     A curious observation is that while most European languages have an nearly verbatim equivalent to the idiom “a cat in the bag” a few languages reference a different animal entirely. For example, English uses a pig (poque being a French loan word meaning pocket or bag), Czech uses hare, Estonian use piglet, Eire uses pig, Finnish uses pig and Swedish also uses pig. This is interesting not only because I can geek out for hours on the evolution of European semantics, but also because of the geographic locations of countries as well as their similar philology. Why does Czech have a hare in the sack while Slovakian puts a cat in the sack? Enjoy your brain worm.

Keep On Fibbing

     Lies show a learned manner of perceiving social interaction. It displays an acute cognizant awareness of social norms and conventions belonging to the cultural group in which the perpetrator of the lie finds himself. This type of social hyper-perception is exemplary of an off the scale EQ as opposed to IQ. Howard Gardner has proposed a divergent view of IQ and how people learn, process and store information. He asserts that there are 8 separate techniques (bodily/kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, linguistic, logic-mathematical, musical, naturalistic, and spatial) which can be utilized. These methods lead to multiple yet separate intelligences which allow people to process similar information. Children have been clinically tested on their behavioral responses and have shown that they lie when a situation dictates that the observer could be disappointed or when the rules which were dictated were breached. Although the children were assessed and scaled on the completely culturally subjective scale of IQ, it nonetheless, revealed them possessing a high IQ. If we can stretch an extrapolation out of IQ (all the while remembering the extensive range of individual intelligences) then we can arrive at the conclusion that these children hold a higher intelligence to those who don't lie or lie less frequently. Lying is so ubiquitous that even the most pious among us lies from time to time depending on the circumstance. Two types of lies appear; those lies which are for egoistic or narcissistic gains and those which are better deemed fibs which are, I assert, altruistically motivated. There are numerous ways of semantically expressing the difference between lies for egoism and narcissism on one edge of the spectrum and selflessness and altruism on the other. Call them “bald-face lies” or “bold-face lies” to denote narcissistic lies and “fibs” and “white lies” to signify altruistic lies. Whatever we collectively decide to call them they are prevalent in our society and we all use them.

     Corruption and clientelism in all societies and cultural demographics are socially accepted, anticipated and often required societal conventions , so too are lies. For our purposes corruption can be best explained in economic terms. Economic corruption means being granted goods or services without a receipt or documentation implying that the recipient is not obligated by law to receive said goods and services. Sociology calls an economy outside the immediate jurisdiction of the law a “black market”. A black market or secondary market economy is one in which corruption is rampant but simultaneously very effective if you want to continue functioning in it by minimizing your chance of being snuffed out. Clientelism denotes political corruption whereby the principle of receiving gifts is as important as giving gifts. The anthropologist Marcel Mauss in his book “The Gift” describes how big chiefs would throw lavish parties for those groups who fell under his dominion. He would reallocate the tribute he had been bestowed him from these groups by hosting these extravagant parties. Sometimes it resulted in a great material loss, nevertheless, these parties solidified his stature among these groups allowing for cooperation in times of tranquility but also enabling him to marshall an army in times of war. No different today are our political and economic institutions or the ones we elect or appoint to govern them. Whether it be political or economic corruption they remain fundamentally just lies. These lies are most often white lies and fibs which fill a social niche needed to coalesce and bind a society or cultural group together. There is an underlying necessity for lies which every member in these groups inherently but subconsciously knows not to be the honest or wholly factual in response. The cognitive divergence of usage is around the end of the teenage years when we begin to mature and are able to calculate when one is preferred over the other in a particular situation. Although many adults find themselves stranded in or succumbed to the trappings of the narcissistic lie as a predominate form of engaging in societal interaction. The law, which is just a different form of socially contracted norms and mores, doesn't on the surface leave a lot of wiggle room for either form of lies. It's an institution which since the Roman Republic has come to symbolically embody the philosophical stronghold of justice. However, attorneys routinely advise their clients to avoid answering questions which might incriminate them if they aren't “entirely” certain about the details. They advocate explaining to the jury or magistrates that the information they are providing the court is factual “to the best of their knowledge” or uttering the go-to safeguard “I don't recall”. Both of which are lies in our estimation yet are accepted without much refutation whether they are narcissistic or altruistic. A strange and counter intuitive convention has been adopted and canonized in the legal system of America and Britain. The highest form of evidence, above even scientific proofs, of the judicial system of both nations is eye witness testimony. Any average Joe with a shred of logic would content eye witness testimony to be wholly subjective at best and unwittingly fabricated at worst. The fact that the witness may be earnest and forthright can't diminish the fact that what is being told is not empirical, able to be quantified, and therefore an untruth (e.g a lie). Then what is perjury or fraud in legal terms if the truth is squelched by averting exploration? Perhaps the judicial system will reevaluate its love affair with tradition and retool the preeminence of eye witness testimony and accept a lie as part of societal norms. A bigger more looming question which still remains is, “what function does lying fulfill in interpersonal interaction?”

     How many of us have ever answered this moral conundrum: “Does this dress, shirt, skirt, blouse make me look fat?” How we answer that question depends entirely on our perception of the situation. We first make a hasty evaluation of meaning by weighing our framework of what the word fat entails and then counter balancing it with the perceived meaning of the person asking it. This supplies us with three possible answers: 1) based on a mutual understanding of “fat” a response of “no”; 2) based on a mutual understanding of “fat” an omission or diversion is given “it brings out the gorgeous color of your eyes”; 3) based on a mutual understanding of “fat” a response of “no, no not at all” is given. Whatever the choice an incredible amount of neural processing is being accomplished. It taps into our primal desires to be part of a collective whole and belies the fact that we want this seem to be doing the right as we're caught in a struggle between honesty and loyalty. Not only do we lie to those closest to us in a familial sense we regularly lie to those on the periphery of our immediate society. When a shop clerk asks you how are you doing today we more often than not feign an honest answer by fibbing: fine/good/ok.

     If we take the time to contemplate and reflect on the fact that we all lie to achieve social equilibrium then that self awareness glares back at us like a deer caught in the highlights. We all do it and we do it all the time. Strangely and paradoxically we inundate our children with fables, myths and parables of why they shouldn't lie. As parents we have an ace up our sleeves all year. We semi-reluctantly restrain our children's behavior by tell them that Santa Claus won't bring any presents this year for Christmas if they keep lying to their parents. The tale of Pinocchio showcases what horrific things happen to a child with a Tourette like compunction to lie. I am sure there are reams and reams of similar parables which scare children into attempting to tell the truth by waring them of the not so happy consequence. If we adults can see the benefits of lying to the check out clerk at the supermarket shouldn't we keep encouraging our kids to lie?

Politics in the Land of Oz

 

The Ethics of Three Card Monte 

     A smoke and mirrors game is being played in the public arena's while debating the efficacy of social justices like gay rights, equal pay for woman, economic imperialism and the dominion over ones body. I would go so far as to say that most politicians represent their particular constituents and elector base by agreeing that racial equality as expressed in the civil rights movement was and is a non negotiable steadfast given. Why are we still debating the minutiae of civil unions, LGBT marriages and the Judeo Christian marriages? That's a topic for another time. Shifting gears to an economic hegemony imposed by the US on Mexico. What is at the crux of the fear-mongering which is fueling an inhumane and malicious idea about building electric fences around our boarder with Mexico. Presumably it's to keep the undesirables out yet I see it missing the mark on a few fundamental points. The most glaring point is the notion that these economic and political refugees are sneaking through our porous national boarder to parasitically dine on America's bevy of good fortune. The fact that America has been transforming herself into a 2^nd world country with it's chasmic separation of the have's and have not's would seem like a fools errand to those el sud emigre’s. The wealth in the US is not being distributed equally as bared out in the appalling employment and job indices. I am ignoring but not forgetting the rapid decay of the buying power to the inflationary index. The price of widgets is going through roof compared to the money most Americans are taking in each month. Let's pause and remember that our militant nostalgia for an agrarian economy is in reality run by gigantic Agra-business. Nonetheless, this nostalgia is firmly rooted in the realm of “invented tradition”, which was espoused by the Marxist Historian Eric J. Hobsbawm, and won't be dissipating anytime soon. These mammoth corporations, like all corporations, are intrinsically psychopathic at their core. They have a singular myopic drive to maximize profits which logically entails minimizing costs. One of the biggest costs to Agra-business is labor. As the statistical trend continues less Americans are willing to engage in these horrendous working conditions for meager pay, marginal job security and negligible health benefits. These emigre's from Mexico primarily have filled those employment gabs which Americans are reluctant to do. Perhaps if we didn't have the political talking point embodied in a tidal wave of economic refugees then Americans might be lulled back into those jobs which would ipso facto be vacated by the Mexicans. Sure; I think that might be an jolly mental masturbation exercise which may even bear fruit; albeit bitter fruit. The logical overarching question to ask then becomes; why would the Mexicans want to stay in Mexico?” More to the point; “how can we keep them there?” I don't mean to be derisive or flippant nor denigrating. Simply how can America foster a love affair between Mexico and Mexicans? Since NAFTA, and almost certainly before, large influental American businesses have kept the bulwark of RD in America while shifting manufacturing to Mexico. The reasoning is a 1-2-3 police line up of all the usual suspects: favorable tax breaks for investment, tax reduction being paid in America and cheap cheap cheap labor. If Mexico could garner some long term economic boon coupled with modern manufacturing for herself, publicly and privately owned and run, wouldn't that be at least a motivating factor to stay put and reap some of the economic bounty? America has to rethink and retool it's economic/political/social ideologies and policies. The quick fix to a symptom doesn't heal the disease.

     Another slight of hand parlor trick that has preoccupied the public forums is intelligent design. Intelligent design has been built on a bedrock of an eroding dogma called creationism. The ridiculous discussion about embryonic personhood rights versus the seizure of a woman's body and her unequivocal right to govern her person, is at the core of this civil liberties debate. The pro-life versus pro-choice camps have pitted themselves against one another in a World War 1entrenched ideology battle. The spearhead of this demagoguery has been encased by the debated right to terminate a pregnancy. The fact that abortions are carried out clandestinely by natural selection on women all the time is an often overlooked fact on both sides of the argument. We tend to cloak the meaning of abortions by deeming it spontaneous miscarriage. A bit of semantic tomfoolery. “What's in a name”, Shakespeare once sardonically riddled. Normally I would agree with that kind of assessment for most concepts. The English language, due to its 50/50 ratio of French based Latin derived lexicon on the one side and its Germanic roots on the other, provides a rich and varied yet confusing choice of nuanced verbiage. Sometimes the choice of a word is like playing a dictionary roulette wheel. Although there are different numbers ultimately we pick either a red or black. The word is either tangential or it isn't. However, in this case I think that the word choice does matter. Abortion laden like a cargo container with emotional and ideological baggage. If we change the verbiage from abortion to miscarriage then we defuse the weight of the ethical and moral argument by superimposing a neutral scientific term to mean the same thing. Why would an intelligent designer purposefully deliver a philosophical paradox? Did a benevolent and omnipotent creator fashion an intentional flaw in the logic of preserving life? When we examine these questions an unresolved and unnoticed conundrum among the most fervent supporters of anti-abortion legislation appears. The same supporters are routinely the same lot who adamantly embrace legalized executions and have zero tolerance for stricter firearms regulations. Pitchforks and torches are metaphorically raised seeking retribution even when it doesn't effect them personally.

     As I think about the smoke and mirrors and the window dressing and the con games which we all seem to be hoodwinked by I am reminded of the Wizard of Oz. When Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and the Lion enter the Wizards lair with the witches broom to prove they vanquished the witch they notice that the dog Toto is tugging at a curtain. They watch Toto tug away at the curtain as a booming voice and ominous video tell them to ignore the man behind the curtain. Thankfully for the denouement of the story they emphatically questioned the authenticity of the booming voice behind the curtain. America needs to start questioning the Wizards of politics and the media.

Spinoza's Chutzpah

Synching up the profane and the sacred

 

     When I made the decision as an undergrad to pursue a minor in Anthropology instead of a double major along with History, my philosophical world view was disassembled, rearranged and pieced back together. But in a positive way. It galvanized the dissimilar and sometimes incongruent paradigms which oozed back and forth between the hard and soft science classes at the university. One of the prerequisite courses was an introduction to Anthropology of the Family. Although the course was as interesting as the professor could eek out in a 4 month stint, ultimately it proved to be underwhelming at best. By default I was able to enroll in this course but the course I really wanted to follow to satisfy my requirements was Medical Anthropology. At the time, youth was my driving force like a fire in the belly which spurred me on and didn't accept disappointment. I told myself that if I couldn't follow the lectures, so be it; but I was going to study the book and handouts which were listed. 
 

      The title of the book eludes me now but the contents of the book; its basic tenets, the gist of the narrative, fascinated me to the point of obsession. Primitive cultures, now abandoned for the p.c. Pre-literate moniker, was and still is the first stepping stone in American and European Anthropology education. The early 20^th century paradigm shift in Anthropology from the concept of “other” to “different” is still prevalent and woven seamlessly into today's curriculum. Pioneering anthropologists like Franz Boas taught a second generation of pioneering anthropologists to throw off the shackles of Social Darwinism and study indigenous cultures as unique and intrinsically equal cultures. Without being laden down in nominal conclusions of good and bad, anthropologists like Ruth Benedict and Margaret Mead spearheaded the Relativism movement in the social sciences. Mead's seminal work on sexuality; “Coming of Age in Samoa”, shown a light on a sexually repressed Western Culture. Franz Boas, in his forward to her book, illuminates what Mead's work represented; “Courtesy, modesty, good manners, conformity to definite ethical standards are universal, but what constitutes courtesy, modesty, very good manners, and definite ethical standards is not universal. It is instructive to know that standards differ in the most unexpected ways." This was what the textbook from Medical Anthropology was espousing at its core; knowledge and wisdom are two separate concepts which are universal to all cultures but differ in meaning within various cultures. 
 
      The example which rattled my brain as most poignant and epiphanic was not from some far flung exotic Polynesian island; it was from New England USA. In the winter months when Northern climes are subject to but seldom reported epidemics of flu those areas utilize home spun remedies to combat and stave off the demoralizing secondary infections. One of those remedies is called Grog. Apparently the word grog stems from the British Vice Admiral Edward Vernon who was know as "Old Grog". The libation was formerly a mixture of alcohol and fruit juices and spices which rationed to sailors as a means of avoiding drinking stagnant water and preventing scurvy. Sailors being sailors the rations were often gulped down prematurely leaving them little recourse but to drink the algae ridden water. The solution was to dilute the mixture with water which stretched the rations for a longer duration. Initially a maritime drink it is found all over Europe and the Western world. It is documented to even have an equivalent in Fuji, no doubt unintentionally introduced by seamen on shore leave. Regardless, the New England variant was a combination of vinegar, honey and occasionally alcohol. The ratio of ingredients shows a dichotomy at work; bitter and sweet made palatable by a jigger of alcohol (exact amount may vary). Of course, the honey has a dearth of nutritional goodness and the alcohol can lull the sick and afflicted into a nice slumber. I believe the vinegar might give the illusion of a medicinal wheelhouse. If it doesn't taste bad then it's probably not helping. 
 
      This explanation is the HOW. This is what it would tell us empirically, scientifically. But to the those drinking the grog it is only the WHY which is important. The disparate properties jumbled together work because they work together well. This is maybe over simplified and tautological but it led me to continue to extrapolate on pre-literate societies and their ethnobotanical remedies. A healer or a shaman or a witchdoctor in a pre-literate community has a mind numbingly expansive knowledge of his or her immediate pharmacopeia. Much like the New England grog maker, the healer, shaman or witchdoctor mixes and blends a variety of plants, roots and herbs and often hallucinogens to aid in the recovery of a ailing tribesman. The chemistry, biology, and scientific underpinnings can be studied and understood giving us the HOW the remedy worked. That doesn't satiate a cosmology where the profane and sacred are inexorably intertwined. The need to complete the whole must have a WHY. Those pre-literate societies might assume that a deity is embodied in a plant or root and through a concisely dictated ritual resulting in drinking the liquid, a spirit is released which goes forth and heals. The WHY doesn't negate the HOW. It forms a set; an ethical circuit which satisfies the sacred and the profane and ipso facto brings structure. This allows for an individual within a society to experience moral cohesion below the surface tension of empirical reality. 
 
      How and Why are therefore cut from the same cloth but remain in the western world at odds with each other. For example, take the words demonstrate and inspire. Etymologically demonstrate is taken from Latin meaning “de = proove/monstrum = divine, sacred” but it has been bastardized into meaning empiricism: science. Inspire derives from the Latin word inspirationem which connotes breathing. At its root it incorporates the word spirare which is where we get the word spirit. The act of blowing and inhaling would allow us to ingest the sacred. So are science and mythology doomed to be at rivaling ends of our ethical world view? We can stoically marvel at the universe and proclaim that there must be some sort of intelligent design for such complex sequencing of DNA as proven in the multi-celluar life forms we call humans. There are, however, numerous flaws in the design which make me reluctant to believe in an omnipotent and benevolent greying old man perched on a cloud who's counting the number of fire ants who die in order to keep the biosphere in balance. The fact that life is sustained by killing seems to me to be a major flaw. Science supplies us with a progression of replicable hypotheses which allow us to comprehend the HOW of evolution. They tell us what mechanisms are at work selecting certain traits. Which of these traits may be helpful in the long run but also which ones are benign or antique but continue to be passed down from our homo sapiens ancestors who first interbred with Neanderthals. Like the archaic genes for small brains or the still valid but rapidly fading gene for red hair. 
 
      The total of nature's wonders in the vastness of diversity on this blue marble or the greater cosmos, either perceived or theorized like dark energy and dark matter, causes me to add credence to Spinoza's view God and the divine. Spinoza theorized a God who exists and is abstract and impersonal. The nutshell of Spinoza's believe in God is that the profane and the sacred are one in the same and exemplified by nature. All the cosmos and all the terrestrial beings are part of a God who is the sum of the universe and nature and not of a guardian overlording it. Spinoza was, uncharacteristically for the Jewish faith, excommunicated because of his heretical philosophy. Thankfully he was able to fused together the HOW and the WHY eloquently and holistically and in a neat and tidy philosophy; albeit posthumously. 
 
      If we accept the union of the sacred and the profane as being equally beneficial to our moral and ethical development we can begin to pose more stringent philosophical questions. When we ask ourselves one of the quintessential philosophical question : “what is death?” Intrinsically and by default the HOW alone becomes moot and irrelevant. The WHY usurps our self-reflective brain power and takes over the philosophical high ground. Will it be that the sacred provides us with solace not only in preparation for death but also moral support for those we leave behind? Science is not devoid of its WHY deliberation. Let's assume that most of the educated population believes in the Big Bang theory. In doing so we a priori concedes that we are all made from the same interstellar flotsam and jetsam that was spewed out over the universe at the moment of the Big Bang. If we agree to those two criteria then the WHY for science becomes easy. We humans just as all organic matter will return to the cosmic dust fragments from whence we came.

     Bridging the gab between the HOW and the WHY will make the derisive camps of the profane and sacred irrelevant and at the same time reduce a heap of metaphysical stress on all of us.

Remembering Tomorrow

The Folly of Nostalgia and Remembrance

 

     What is reality? Philosophers have been mentally masturbating over this concept from arguably the birth of language. As we became more self-aware probably around 50,000 years ago, as testament to cave paintings as a means of expression of thought and emotion, one of the fundamental questions arose: is that salacious feeling lust or love? I am confident that our Cro-Magnon brethren didn't exactly theorize it that way and more than likely dismissed it as irrelevant. Nonetheless, we can ask ourselves now; is the perception of love, true love, worse when it is perceived as genuine but ultimately not real? Or did that event happen as my churning cortex is allowing me to logically understand? Perhaps the reality is a element of the perception which is in turn the belief? Regardless, the intricacies of detail found in memories we are privy to now are part and parcel to the universal human emotional expression. Remembrance is the mosaic formed by placing the tiles of memories into a pattern. The pattern is unique and random and highly personal. But what if those memories are perceived ironically or falsely; how does that change the entire mosaic? Lies and delusions are the same as memories if we perceive them as genuine. Whatever the psychological nomenclature is either false memory, implanted memory or secondary memory they all share the same essence in quality. Going further on leap of logic these memories could be fueled by benign hallucinations which are out of our control yet mimic our perception. Vast oceans of remembrance keeping your “soul” alive by a linkage of memories dotting the seascape like an expansive archipelago.

     The future as we had envisioned it years ago; does it live up to our expectations? Have we merely adapted to it through mild hallucinatory episodes making the disappointment more palatable? Like a jaunt down memory lane with all the jagged cobblestones of perception along the way. Imagine, if you will, the political climate as the Republicans see it. Ronald Reagan is exalted as the messiah and an embodiment of all that is righteous and holy within the neo-conservative movement. Is he really? Conversely, take JFK. He is viewed by liberals and progressives as the template of Pragmatism. Pragmatism is a chiefly American philosophy which in a nutshell decrees that one should weigh the pros and cons and in the end choose what works. Is that a real and bona fide assessment of JFK? The negation of of hurts and disappointments after a romance breaks up. Are you coping in the short term only to emerge with a more balanced and less rapacious overview of the relationship or have you subjected yourself to false memories? The past is never as great as the delusion would have us believe. It was never a carnival of utopian delights. But what if we imagined it to be so by crisscrossing the way we perceive emotions. The crisscrossing and intermingling of perception is known to neuroscience as synesthesia.

      Synesthesia has distinctive and predictable hyper-connectivity which once formed early in life is unlikely to change as the individual ages. Perhaps the most common cross wiring is color synesthesia which shades, colors or tints numbers and letters. Despite the personalization of the experience data dictates that the letter A is usually red among synesthetes. This trend holds true for the other types of synesthesia as well. Another form of number synesthesia is spatial sequencing in which numbers appear in the minds eye to occupy disparate slots in an imagined area. The number 7 could hoover close to the face around the eyes while the number 3 might be teetering on the edge of the horizon. Sound synesthesia orchestrates a visual orgy of colored fireworks which burst in front of the synesthete as notes, melodies and harmonies are played. Words can also spark sensation on the tongue of rudimentary tastes in what is called lexical synesthesia. The taste sensation is brought forth out of phonemes. A diphthong might create honey sweetness or a hard X might taste harsh and bitter. Who knows maybe even the passionately languid /I/ /L/ /O/ /V E/ /Y/ /OU/ might start with a wash of cane sugar and finish with an unbearable tartness.

     If you come to the conclusion, after reading just a smidgen about synesthesia, that you are far removed from its cross wired confusion; think again. Statistically the prevalence in the US alone is mind boggling. One in twenty three people have some degree of at least one sort of clinical synesthesia. This statistic alone should make us recoil and reassess. Naturally we are painfully and gleefully vigilant of the axiom “lies, damn lies and statistics” popularized by Mark Twain in his autobiography published in 1906. Interesting side note is that Twain was not the first to use the phrase in print. When speaking about “three different truths” that honor goes to Eliza Gutch. In 1891 Gutch wrote an open letter to The National Observer in London which was published under her pseudonym St Swithin. Let me swerve back on topic. Hopefully this intermezzo has given you enough time to absorb the gravity of the apparent yet unclear intrinsic evolutionary advantage synesthesia provides. Extracting synesthesia from physiological and clinical constrains and shining a light on its linguistic omnipotence it becomes, I posit, even more an integral part of all of us. Here's an experiment to test on yourself. Without pondering and overanalyzing try envisioning a Hawaiian/aloha shirt with dancing hula girls, tiki statues and pineapple motifs in red, green, blue and yellow. Ok, keep thinking of that Aloha shirt and all its motion of color and motifs. If you are like me the shirt you are thinking of it shouting like a Banshee at you retinas. You might describe it to someone as a “loud shirt'. A simple metaphor to sketch a picture for someone in order to elicit the same emotional experience when you see that horrendous Aloha Shirt. I, by the way, adore Hawaiian shirts and this fictitious shirt I would buy in a New York minute. If we distill a metaphor down to its basal functionality then we can understand it as giving meaning to a concept by juxtaposing the similar with the dissimilar. Good news for poets and greeting card manufacturers is that the list of combinations is virtually endless; warm color, sharp cheese or she's so sweet are a few which spring to mind. To illustrate the hyper-connectivity more concisely it can be assumed that synesthesia is working surreptitiously when we experience taste. At its core the sensation of taste is extremely limited having a range of only 5 flavors: sweet, bitter, sour, salty or umami (Japanese for meaty/savory). Our ability to nuance smells and complex aromas permits our rudimentary tastebuds to be hoaxed into a broader spectrum of taste. So we all employ some form of cross wiring which I feel is linked closely to synesthesia.

      The experience of phantom limbs could logically, if not physiologically, tickle the neurotransmitters which evoke emotions. Phantom limbs are defined as a sensation of an amputated limb still having the properties it had while it was attached to the body. It move and gyrates and can even be an nuisance like a physical limb can sometimes be. I recall Oliver Sacks, the renowned neurologist, describing a patient of his who had recently become an amputee losing his arm from the elbow down. He complained to the nurses, doctors and hospital staff that he found it vexing that he kept poking his eye with his missing finger from the amputated arm. Emotions might have a similar mechanism in our limbic system; the system located in our brain which controls and regulates emotions. The nearly catatonic respites one takes when grieving about the loss of a loved one; either by death or separation; could trigger a secondary almost hallucinogenic memory. I opine that the complete array of senses can be utilized to conjure these phantasmagorical memories. The nostalgic scent of a person; the aroma of their unique chemical secretions; build a memory tower tantamount to the Tower of Babel. The idiosyncratic nature of olfactory perception pushes the heights of this nostalgia to the precipice of spiritual awakening. Everyone has had uttered at sometime or another the synesthetic phrases; “It's so real I can almost taste (touch, smell, see, hear) it”. Memory becomes not only subjective but extremely specific when the remembrance of emotions is summoned to tranquilize a loss, disappointment or painful experience.

     What about nostalgia of the future. Why do we aggressively want to believe that progress equals bliss? I can't ever remembering I wanted a jetpack or flying car or domed city with connective tubes wending around the metropolis. Never thought I'd buy a home in the Apex Suburbs of equatorial Mars. Futurists and scientists who only extrapolate from what they know currently would have us buy into their beguiling vision of existence along side nano quantum computers all the way to designer babies and singularity. Millenarian movements are another category of like minded people which declare the world will end soon. Expecting it to transform into something revolutionary the millenarians have twisted a theme which has coalesced neatly into the singularity movement. Death takes on a hyperbolic reality to us fleshy humans as we are systematically ushered through a series of evolutionary changes. First cyborgs then hybrids finally reaching a state of genome tweaked super beings. Or some other variation or sequence. Why not reverse that thought and throw it back on itself. The futuristic predictions are merely filling the gaps and voids of nostalgic expectations. These predictions for the future are derived from the prevailing zeitgeist, but usually reveal aspects of what we had hoped our future would look like.

      Remembrance and nostalgia are among our finest gadgets in the toolbox of our brain. The terms real, unreal or surreal are each bankrupt as classifications for the vast and rich experiences we use to make life a little more worth living.