Trends and Tradition in American Ingenuity
Bacon flavored broccoli isn't a
madman's fantasy anymore. It's America's ticket to reasserting
herself as one of the world's top scientific super powers. In order
to climb back into the saddle Americans needs to tap back into what
has united them over the centuries in a singular purpose. A sense of
collective ideology has enabled Americans to undertake and accomplish
things so that are both exceptional and revolutionary. Yet America's
ingenuity is a double edged sword. It's both a blessing and a curse.
A question lingers as to how America's shared ideological ethos has
evolved. From it's inception as an Eden and refuge for peoples who
found themselves marginalized and unwelcome elsewhere, America has
come harness and tame those differences within a climate of “hyphen”
American culture. When asked what it means to be American or what
overarching ideology binds Americans together, a laundry list of
demographically subjective opinions spring up. Alex Tocqueville
figured it out more than a century and a half ago. Tocqueville was a
French political philosopher and a de facto historian who travel
throughout America during the 1830's. He was from an aristocratic
French family and a dyed in the wool European Romanticist. He set the
tone for future exploration in social sciences with his seminal work
known as “Democracy in America”. Essentially
Tocqueville asserts that a collective subconscious pioneering
spirit is at the core of what unites Americans ideologically. He
draws attention to the concept of “The Frontier”. Americans at
the time Tocqueville visited had been on a steady march towards the
west for roughly 6 decades. These pioneering folks shared a kindred
spirit, he deduced. A deep-rooted ingenuity to conquer new and
unfamiliar territory is what defined the American esprit de corps.
The ability and independent fervor to try unconventional ideas and
trends in order to pacify unfamiliar territories lends itself to a
loosely knit ideological cohesion. However, if the ideological trends
stay fluid they are subject to eminent change which is ever looming
on the horizon. It stands to reason then that if these trends are in
perpetual state of change then an inevitable loss of a uniting
tradition will be the outcome. This tendency towards experimentation
can bring about alienation. For instance, when a shared problem
arises there can be no meeting of the minds. Individuality and
personal ingenuity take over in lieu of collective societal
traditions. However, melding trends into traditions and forcing them
to be elastic in their pragmatism is a highly beneficial thing.
Abandoning a staunchly rigid approach of choosing either trend or
tradition needs to be promoted. Altering trends to fit into
tradition might pull America out of its moral funk.
Modified trends could be as lucrative
as they are nutritionally beneficial. One multifaceted trend
modification could be genetically manipulating veggies to taste like
savory snacks or deep fried foods and would certainly be a sure fire
hit. Or why not create a sweet tasting veggie like Brussel sprouts
harvested in either dark or milk chocolate flavors? We have
manipulated every other type of fruit and veggie. Even taking a
relatively conservative slant we have can say that we have tweaked
evolution enough to create super cows. Maybe it's time to take a page
out of the vegan/vegetarian manifesto which produces and consumes a
whole butcher's shop full of soy and fungal meat substitutes which
taste nearly identical to genuine meats. Like salty tofu-bacon or
faux turkey for those thanksgiving day feasts. Lo sodium, low carbs
gluten free and the list goes on and on. The toxic love affair, I
can't reiterate enough, of the Western world with traditional
agriculture is robbing our collective ingenuity. Why can't the
governing bodies of countries overproducing pork and beef and dairy
products as well as maize and wheat and other grains turn the tables
on farming subsidies? It's a “no-brainer” list of benefits. Not
only would scientific research be stimulated but the excitement of
discovery and the prospects of cold hard cash would come trickling
down to the high school level straight through to universities which
could receive grants for the burgeoning SMET education. That
scientific ethos would carry over into the private sector where
companies could capitalize on the modified trend. Most notably the
pharmaceutical industries which are assuredly going to benefit
financially. The short term investment of racking up patent after
patent would be a boon for all industries who choose to get involved
in this pioneering research. Environmentally it's a sound ethical and
moral step forward. The arable land now devoted to raising ruminant
livestock such as sheep, goats and buffalo but more importantly cows,
can make a desperately needed transition away from those monstrously
large tracks of grazing land they now occupy. Those beguiling bovines
consume vast amounts of grasses which we affectionately refer to as
roughage. Anyone who has ever embarked on a fad diet can attest to
what havoc roughage inflicts on your constitution. The realm of yucks
and chuckles know all to well. The comedic world has proven that
nothing is easier at getting a hostile crowd into the laugh groove
like a good potty joke. Poop or pee references will nudge an
otherwise uninterested audience into a moment of deep comedy focus.
But what really mesmerizes the audience like dangling yarn in front
of a kitten are fart jokes.
Flatulence is a universal and wonderful
experience shared by all mammals. Farts are tiny peepholes into a
private world which surreptitiously unite us by laying bare the
profane and ferreting out hidden familial bonds. We are served up a
raw dish of what the Germans call “Schadenfreude” and the Dutch
refer to as “Leedvermaak”. Both words are characterized by a
mischievous delight one gets by proxy from the suffering of another.
When someone farts we may become squeamish because we are inherently
more sensitive to the odors which are not ours. Or perhaps we
overlook the olfactory elements and are merely revolted by the breach
of social decorum. If, however, we peel back a layer or two of the
onion, we find what is really being played out is that we have become
acutely aware that flatulence is a common experience to us all. The
psychological processing of someone else's faux pas illuminates the
underlying social and biological solidarity between us all. Farts
have gotten a bad rap in modern times as a bona fide scientific
endeavor. Fortunately, history can bestow upon us a modicum of
intrinsic commonality while polishing off that taboo by imbuing it
with an tinge of intellectual respectability. The father of erudite
philosophical church doctrine, Saint Augustine, pontificated about
the mystical abilities of musical farting. In Saint Augustine's 5th
century book, “The City of God”,
he exalts a otherwise mundane and ordinary act to that of a divine
gift from a benevolent God. He writes; “(humans)...have
such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously
at will, so as to produce the effect of singing".
By now you're wondering what connection a digestive diatribe
has to do with the romantic ideal of traditional farming. Remember
the cow? Cows fart often and with those farts, as well as with
humans, they omit methane gas. Methane is one of the dastardly
greenhouse gasses. The best horror stories don't come from the
fantastic creations oozing out the minds of writers. No, they are the
factual stories which are tucked away on page 4 of the morning paper
or gleaned from verbose and dull governmental studies. Luckily, the
United States Environmental Protection Agency doesn't balk at the
chance to simultaneously educate and bore. One such study by the EPA
paints a lugubrious picture of the impact of flatulent cattle;
“Globally, ruminant livestock produce about 80 million metric
tons of methane annually, accounting for about 28% of global methane
emissions from human-related activities. An adult cow may be a very
small source by itself, emitting only 80-110 kgs of methane, but with
about 100 million cattle in the U.S. and 1.2 billion large ruminants
in the world, ruminants are one of the largest methane sources. In
the U.S., cattle emit about 5.5 million metric tons of methane per
year into the atmosphere, accounting for 20% of U.S. methane
emissions.” Just imagine if we
could reduce the amount of cow farts by one half what a inadvertent
global health benefit it would be.
Encouraging
scientific research through bestowing government grants to
universities and tax incentives to agribusiness, in order to develop,
produce and harvest savory crops of pork chop flavored beets and
caramel flavored okra, might just be the first notes in the swan song
of global warming and rampant malnutrition.
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